OK, just curious how much time you all spend here? One big chunk, or few minutes here and there all day? Try to estimate an actual number of the total amount of time per day (or per week if you're here infrequently). I'm trying to figure out what the average is, and what is reasonable. I am trying to limit myself to 15 min a day, but it's quite a struggle and I'm not sure how feasible that is long term!
Archive: April, 2012
You guys already know the issues between DH and me. We have been talking more which is good. We had a good long clearing of the air session last night and are trying to work things through and understand where each of us is coming from. He was upset that I was hiding purchases and not being honest with him and breaking promises that I had made to stop shopping. I've apologized for all of that and tried to explain how I felt and why I was doing it--I felt like I had to hide my shopping and YLF participation from him because of his negative reaction to it, which just created a vicious cycle of disapproval and dishonesty.
So, I've basically stopped buying new stuff (except for the Kate Spade dress with my consignment/rebate money, which DH said was OK), and limiting my time spent here to 15 min a day (so I'm sorry for not posting everyone else's threads as much!). I proposed that we could each a "personal/hobby budget" for his diving/camera equipment, my clothes, etc. and he was open to that, although we didn't discuss how much or when it would start--originally I had proposed to SYC for 3 months.
I know I made some mistakes and I do understand why he is upset and that he has every right to be and I'm trying to change. I'm just sad that we see things so differently. He told me he is scared that I'm acting like a crazy drug addict and that I'm out of control. That my posting on YLF is pure vanity and that I'm seeking compliments like a drug addict seeks "hits". That I would go into physical withdrawal and wouldn't be able to stop shopping or coming here even if I tried. He said that when he felt like he was playing video games too much, he just quit cold turkey for 6 months but he's worried I wouldn't be able to do the same. And I said, "Well I've been cutting way back and I don't think I need to quit altogether because I don't think it's a problem." And he said, "See, that's just what an smoker or alcoholic or drug addict says!" OK, touche!
But the thing is, I really don't think I'm an addict and I really don't think it's the same level as being a druggie! Yes, there is potential for similarities, and I probably was investing more time and money into this before than was necessary. But OK, I still work full time, still take care of the kids, we make enough money to cover all our expenses, and we can definitely afford what I spent on clothes. I'm not doing anything illegal, I don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs, and don't even drink coffee. I don't have any other hobbies, it makes me happy and is my only creative outlet. So while I understand where he is coming from with the way I acted before, I just wish he wouldn't see my "hobby" in such a negative light. Where do you draw the line between addiction vs. amusement, vanity vs. self-confidence, and is YLF a vice or a hobby? He says he has been supportive overall, was the one who told me to revamp my wardrobe, went with me and bought me Anne Fontaine shirts and a trench coat at White House Black Market, etc. etc. But he said, "After the way you've acted, don't expect me to be all supportive and warm and fuzzy about your YLF activities." He said he isn't expecting me or asking me to quit YLF altogether. He said he just wants me to control myself and is OK with what I'm proposing as long as I stick with it.
But I'm sad that he thinks I'm an addict! Am I really? I don't know--a lot of you ladies shop and are on YLF a lot, as much as me or sometimes more. Do you or your husbands consider yourselves addicts too? I feel kind of vulnerable posting so much about my problems, wondering what you guys must think of me, but I still do value your support and perspective. And, DH is a good husband and father, and I am not trying to make him out to be some sort of controlling villain. We just don't see eye to eye on this issue. Please don't think badly of him or attack him!
When Sylvie posted about the her purchase of the Tory Burch Radnor rust and cobalt skirt, I was inspired to pull mine out again! I also love the color combo of rust orange and blue, and decided to try some different outfits with the same color combo--kind of a mini-theme. Plus I got a few more unworn pieces into the mix!
1. 4/2 to work
White House Black Market ink blue jacket--this is the first time wearing the jacket unbuttoned, but I wanted to showcase the striped top. Dianthus just reminded me that it's a peplum style, a la Angie's blog post today!
Classiques Entier blue/cream/brown striped tie neck sleeveless shell
ASOS rust pleated midi skirt (first time wearing--I finally got around to steaming out the wrinkles)
WHBM blue snakeskin Mary Jane pumps (they're fairly stable/sturdy for stilettos but I still wish they came in a lower/chunkier heel because tall spiky heels are NMS!)
Kate Spade grey croc tote
Forever 21 bronze/orange bracelet
2. 4/2 evening casual
Tulle rust orange hooded peacoat (from the junior's section at Nordstrom)
INC purple ribbed turtleneck from Macy's (first time wearing)
Paige Hidden Hills bootcut dark blue jeans (first time wearing after getting them hemmed). Although they're very snug--I think I gained a couple pounds and now muffin is spilling over the top :(
Fossil velvet floral satchel
Alexis Bittar orange disc pendant
La Canadienne Galaxy brown suede wedge boots (so comfy, especially after wearing those stilettos all day!)
3. 4/3 to work (I know I've posted this combo before but this is one of my favorite outfits, and it works really well so I'm posting the repeat! I switched out the grey hose for navy polka dot hose and added a new bracelet, so it's not exactly the same)
Halogen black plaid wool zip peacoat
INC rust mock turtleneck top (20 years old!)
Tory Burch Radnor rust and cobalt honeycomb pattern skirt
Forever 21 navy polka dot tights (gift from mom)
Chie Mihara rust suede high heel sandals
WHBM blue jewel bracelet
I'm trying something new--I'm pasting multiple pictures into a Powerpoint slide and saving as a JPEG. It takes a lot longer to crop and paste (I don't have any templates so I'm just doing it freehand)--I'm not sure if I will continue doing it all the time since it's time-consuming, but I feel bad making you guys click through so many pics of one outfit so I thought I'd give it a try!
I've also been whittling down my list of unworn items sitting in my closet with the tags on.
I've already worn ten new pieces in the last two weeks and here are three more--I'm doing pretty well (only have a few pieces left) and it's been great to shop my closet! I also tried steaming (with a handheld steamer) for the first time today--I hadn't worn the Jason Wu yet because it was wrinkled--it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.
I went out with DH on Friday evening, and to two birthday parties this weekend, so I had fun wearing lots of dresses. DD really likes to dress up for parties and requested I wear "party dresses" to match hers. Big fun! My favorite was the polka dots--what do you think of Mama Dot and Mini Dot? DD and I were having fun dressing up together this weekend!
1. 3/30: Went out on a date with DH to a restaurant and saw Othello in the theater.
Tahari black and fuschia Asian print dress--first time wearing this
Bandolino black pumps--DSW clearance rack
Black dangly earrings (from my Wild West holiday party costume)
Kate Spade black ruffle trench
Small grey handbag
2. 3/31: MOTG for DD's ballet class
Ann Taylor Loft kelly green sweater jacket and yellow/green/blue floral blouse--my mom gave these to me a few years ago
Kut from the Kloth white skinny jeans--I got to keep these after all :)--first time wearing these
Kate Spade orange slice straw bag
Kate Spade butterfly necklace
3. 3/31: Kid's birthday party
Kate Spade Jillian black dress with white polka dots
Kate Spade black ruffle trench
White House Black Market red handbag
Kate Spade butterfly necklace
Clarks red T strap pumps
DD is wearing a white dress with black polka dots
4. 4/1: Kid's birthday party #2
Jason Wu for Target navy dress with cream and red stripes--first time wearing this
(one of the moms there actually recognized it as a Jason Wu, which surprised me--nobody else around here seems to be into that kind of stuff!)
Nordstrom skinny red bow belt
Clarks red T strap pumps
Anthro red corset trench
DD is wearing a red Hello Kitty dress from H&M
LOL! I couldn't resist! Here's my submission for the Ladies of YLF calendar. Can I be Miss July?
(Sorry, it's not really me--pic is from Modcloth! But I do actually have this Esther Williams red polka dot bikini).
Happy April everyone!