Hermes swan song

Guys, I have a guilty confession to make. This whole time I've been doing Handbag Challenge to wear all of my purses (originally I thought it would take a month, but now I'm into the third month!), I haven't felt like purging anything from my large purse collection. But this is the exception. I bought this Hermes Jypsiere and it was really amazing and I really loved it, but I just could never get myself to wear it because I felt really guilty about spending so much money on a purse and worried that people would see it and judge me and worried I would get the purse dirty or stained. Plus with paying taxes and other bills it was getting a bit tight financially. The purse, while lovely, was giving me negative vibes every time I thought about it. And to tell the truth, it wasn't very practical--it was a lot smaller than it looks because of the triangular shape so I couldn't fit much in it, and heavy with that big leather front flap, and kind of a pain to undo and redo the straps and metal clasp every time I wanted to get something out of the purse. It wasn't a good fit with my MOTG lifestyle.

I couldn't return it (Hermes doesn't allow refunds, only store credit within 30 days, but it had been longer than that and I had already used it). So I ended up selling it on a purse buy/sell/trade Facebook group. I lost money on it because it's used, but at least I got more than I would have if I used one of those consignment sites. So I can either feel bad about the money I lost/wasted by buying and selling it, or just be relieved that it's out of my life and that it's going to make someone else happy. I just sent it yesterday (still waiting for Paypal to release the money...they locked down my account because I've never had a large transaction like this, LOL).

I was hanging out on a handbag forum trying to learn more about these Hermes purses, but I really didn't feel connected to that group. It was like a whole different stratosphere of people with a whole closet full of Birkins and Kellys. Not really my tribe. And it was causing friction between me and DH too, and I really don't want stuff to come between our relationship. So I just let it go. And I'm using some of the money I made back from the sale to buy some large archival prints from a professional family photo shoot we did recently, so we can have some family portraits to hang in the house. I can enjoy those forever. And I do still have two orange purses (my MZ Wallace MOTG bag and Kate Spade orange slice bag) and plenty of other purses to keep me busy and happy! 

I didn't actually wear this outfit (1-4) out of the house because I had already sold the purse and didn't dare risk damage to the bag, but this is the outfit I had envisioned with the scarf (which I still haven't ripped the tags off yet, what is wrong with me? I need to stop buying scarves!). I still have the wallet and bracelets too. Anyways, here are the three outfits I wore with the purse. I'm really at peace with this decision. See you later, Hermes. Maybe we'll meet again some other time!

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This post is also published in the youlookfab forum. You can read and reply to it in either place. All replies will appear in both places.

38 Comments

  • catgirl replied 1 year ago

    Natalie, I don't even know how much that bag cost - but this is what I meant about some items weighing me down.  You did the right thing and you should not feel guilty about a lesson learned.  We all have limits and sometimes we don't know them till we transgress.  I know people who wouldn't think twice about dropping enormous amounts on a bag, and people who would be horrified at what someone like me pays for mine. 

    Happiness can be so fleeting when you are chasing style - that's the lesson I'm learning, as I try to be content with what I have already!

  • Sterling replied 1 year ago

    I am so sorry it worked out this way for you.  You did the right thing and we probably both learned a lesson from this.  

  • Ledonna N. replied 1 year ago

    I'm not sorry at all. Your pretty bag was weighing you down and stressing you out. Coming between you and your man. Nope not at all for a bag. Now you can have a keepsake of a family potriate that can be passed down. I love how you write it's like we're talking in real life.

  • Echo replied 1 year ago

    Natalie, I am so sorry this happened. Regret on large purchases can really tear a person up inside. You did the right thing. It likely wasn't the cost, but the bag that went with it. Had you truly loved the bag, you would have used it without looking back and without guilt, so this was not the right bag for you. I hope you feel the weight lifted and can breathe freely with it rehomed. I've was a regular member of the site you are probably referring to, and I, too, found it difficult to relate to many of the people/things there - not so much because of cost but because of vision. Regardless of what you fancy, you are always our tribe!

  • dashielle (Ann) replied 1 year ago

    Thanks for your honesty Natalie, it's a lesson I've had to learn a couple of times (because I'm slow that way ;-)). Would you mind sharing the Facebook group info? I've got a Goyard bag that I'd like to re-home. 

  • viva replied 1 year ago

    I've been in this place before - not with a Hermes bag, but in my own way. You'll feel happier and lighter being rid of the bag. It's not worth the emotional weight. Good for you, Natalie.

  • BrieN replied 1 year ago

    Good for you for fixing it. We live and we learn.

  • CocoLion replied 1 year ago

    I'm glad you were able to sell it.  Hey you learned a lesson plus you recouped some money, more than a consignment site.  I consider that success.  It's a gorgeous bag and looked great on you but the bulkiness would have aggravated me too.  Plus the time it took to unfasten.  I have a bag with a complicated fastener and don't use it much for that reason.  You still have the Chanel bag right?  I will say that this style did not seem as "forever" as the Kelly bag or a quilted Chanel handbag.  Just something to think about.  Also the color was not as classic as a black bag.  You don't have a black status bag do you?  (Hole identified!)

  • smittie replied 1 year ago

    Oh Natalie, I want to give you a hug! I've been in your position too, and know how much you can beat yourself up about these things.
    Good for you for taking that step to sell it. 

  • rabbit replied 1 year ago

    Natalie, it sounds like you made a wise decision, and that the experience gave you some insights into what your needs, values and priorities were.   I think we've all probably had things we spent money on and they didn't work out the way we anticipated (that gym membership I didn't use for a year, cough...).  I just try to remember and learn from it and move forward. 

    I've also had the experience where I've bought something, and gotten positive forum feedback because it looked good, and liked the item itself, but some part of owning it wasn't worth the cost or closet space to me in the long run, so I've returned it or rehomed it -- I very rarely regret letting it go.

    I'm sending a virtual hug.  :)  Your outfits look great, and they would also look good with another orange bag, one you already have or one at a much lower price point in the future.  Also since you have so many bags you love, it could be months before you get around to wanting to wear an outfit with an orange bag again.

  • Elle replied 1 year ago

    You look great in the pictures but you definitely did the right thing for yourself and your family in getting rid of the bag. You should be proud of yourself for fixing a situation that was bothering you.

  • Aquamarine replied 1 year ago

    I'm betting you feel pretty good right now. Emotional (bag)gage can be awfully heavy. There will always be more bags.

  • unfrumped replied 1 year ago

    Good move.

    Shake it off!

  • Firecracker replied 1 year ago

    Natalie, I've actually thought of you and that bag since you bought it--as in, I know someone who owns a real Hermes bag! I was happy that you could enjoy such a special, iconic piece. It looks really lovely with the outfits you've shown here. I'm surprised to read this post, but I appreciate your sharing the experience with us. It's good to read that you are at peace with the outcome. I appreciate knowing what happened, because it's a lesson I can learn from, too! You are not only a style inspiration, but also someone I look up to for your amazing attitude and your wisdom.

  • replied 1 year ago

    I don't have much of value to add here other than I always appreciate reading honest thoughts like these articulated by other intelligent women. Not everyone is open or insightful enough to share things like this .  Recognizing the whole process for what is was, and what the implications were is a pretty big deal - I'm impressed.  

  • krishnidoux replied 1 year ago

    Outfit 1-4 is to die for. So chic! Both with smarter shoes and casual orange ones (so cute!). 
    Outfit 6 merits mention... so harmonious! 

    Anyway, about the Hermes bag.. you did the right thing. Kudos to you. It is not easy to face your feelings and take actions. But you did, and you got the most money back possible. Look at the rest, what you haven't gotten back, not as money that is lost but money you paid for the experience. And it was worth it because it taught you that the *perfect* purse should not be too expensive so you can later enjoy it. What a good lesson, thank you for sharing it with us, so we can also benefit from it. Because you are not alone in your reaction. I am sure I would have felt like you. :)
     

  • Roxanna replied 1 year ago

    Just chiming in to say I also appreciate your honesty here, Natalie. I have always had a 'thing' for aspirational bags and have dreamed of owning a Chanel, BV or even a Hermes. I have a Tods' one that cost me a couple months rent, and I love it now, but it was a huge decision and it did weigh heavy on me for a while. I really value your honesty because usually when people talk about these bags, it's in hushed tones of luxury, and I always wanted to aspire to that, but in truth, I would probably feel more weighed down by it than anything else. Good lesson - no regrets, you did the right thing by letting it go. And thank you for opening yourself up here on the forum - it has helped me so much.

  • Aida replied 1 year ago

    Thanks for sharing this experience with us, Natalie. I'm glad it ended positively. And just have to say that every one of these outfits looks fab regardless of bag. I know you've got other lovelies which would work just as well with them.

  • shevia replied 1 year ago

    Very admirable! You did the right thing and learned something while doing it. Hard to beat that.

  • Sally replied 1 year ago

    I love those outfits.  I'm sure they'll look great with another bag.  We all live and learn with the decisions we make. 

  • Mauvish replied 1 year ago

    it was very heart warming to read about your process. it was incredibly courageous of you.

    i have absolutely no idea how much a Hermes bag costs but I would hate to be possessed by my possessions. It kills all the joy. Also I hope, if it ever happens to me,  I am as mindful of it as you demonstrated about Hermes bag. 

    three cheers for Natalie!

  • deb replied 1 year ago

    Good for you on making the decision and I am so glad you feel better now. 

  • JAileen replied 1 year ago

    I'm glad you were able to resolve your problem with the bag. I know how you feel. Remember our poncho, the turquoise Missoni ? The minute I saw you wearing it, I had to have it. I love it, but it was more expensive than my people usually spend, and I feel kind of self conscious wearing it. My mother judges me, and comments about things like that. I bought a kind of pricey camel hair coat at Saks years ago and she still talks about it, like I'm a spendthrift.

  • Eliza replied 1 year ago

    Natalie- thanks for sharing your dilemma and decision. Stuff, well it's stuff. It doesn't love us or transform us, though it may serve a function or be a pleasure. If something isn't right, great to create the chance to remedy it.

    Great idea to have wonderful family photos. Priceless...

  • Deborah replied 1 year ago

    Thanks for sharing.  I think we all make purchasing mistakes and I do appreciate the opportunity to on sell something and recoup some of my monies as you have.  Don't feel bad:)  You are not alone, and I think you made good choices :)

  • Maneera replied 1 year ago

    You made the right move, Natalie. Good for you!

    I have had something VERY similar happen to me. And in my case, I *really* learnt my lesson because I truly wasted money. I bought a lovely Gucci scarf....very classic, very basic and I thought I'd wear it EVERYWHERE. Then once we were home (scarf & I), I was afraid to even remove it from its box. I live with a German Shedder (as I lovingly call my German Shephard) and the house has hair literally everywhere. The scarf stayed in its box and I refused to wear it for a whole year. What if the puppy dug her nails into it? Or want to chew it? What if I stained it or dropped coffee on it? I had a 100 excuses and then I realized that the scarf was too precious for my lifestyle. I love something pretty, not precious.

    I didn't sell it. I simply gifted it (because it was still in the box and never used) to a friend who is obsessed with luxury designer brands. She loved it and wears it to office...and I don't mind it at all. Lesson learnt! Now I only buy things that can fit into my lifestyle without any 'effort' needed.

  • Janet replied 1 year ago

    I've made an expensive mistake or two (or three) as well, Natalie. It's a beautiful bag, but if it's hard to use and doesnt make you feel good, it's better to let it go and move on. I sold a gorgeous pair of Jimmy Choo shoes after only wearing them 2-3 times -- they were uncomfortable once I had them on for any length of time, and too dressy and too specific a color to be versatile. Lesson learned.

    I am happy you still have an orange bag because the color is fantastic for complementing your outfits!

    I'm glad you will get so much more enjoyment out of the family portraits. :-)

  • replied 1 year ago

    What Lisa and Firecracker said. I remember the thread when you bought the bag, and had the same reaction as Firecracker. The fact that you feel better after letting go says so much and is a wonderful, inspired message and reminder for me: I now have an even better ending to the 'I know someone who bought a real Hermes bag' story. You will always have the memory of your Hermes shopping experience, now free of the added baggage.

    And I'm so glad you kept your other orange bag because your outfits are stunning.

  • rachylou replied 1 year ago

    Now I can confess I like your MW better and that I'm a little Hermès-averse (tho my one scarf does take care of it for me) and that they reached my price point with $12 movie tickets aeons ago. I will not pay $14.95 for a blurry 3-D movie more than twice a year (besides the fact that I can't sit still in the dark anymore for longer than 1.5 hours).

    Also: Try... Gucci!

    ;)

  • rachylou replied 1 year ago

    ps: Haha! Just read Maneera's post. Maneera - scandalous! Hehehe. I'm Team Gucci Captain ;) For some reason, I'm happy to love Gucci things to shreds...

  • Muffin replied 1 year ago

    I (along with everyone else) really appreciate your honesty in sharing this story. I also have eyes for luxury goods so I can relate to the thrill of coveting and owning- yet, there have been expensive mistakes as well. And when I have just owned up to it and let it go I have felt much better. My husband and I have had many a discussion on this. He was the one who encouraged some purchases but feels very strongly that you use what you have and don't save it for good (there is no better than today!). Please cut the tags off your scarf and wear and enjoy it!

  • Bijou replied 1 year ago

    This post is incredibly generous of you to share your experience because it may stop someone else from making this mistake, it can be hard when you are caught up in the moment, and this bag had a lot going for it, as the colour works so well for you. I fell into this trap when shopping with a girlfriend who only wears Gucci heels and swears that they are so comfortable. So silly me bought some and of course rather than being incredibly elegant, I could barely walk in them. I did feel rather Carrie Bradshawish in them, so whilst it was a foolish purchase, it was not without some fun. Live and learn.

  • Diane G replied 1 year ago

    Thanks for sharing your story Natalie. We grow from our mistakes and it's good of you to tell us your experience.

    As usual you look amazing in all your outfits and I'm sure your other orange handbag will fit the bill beautifully and you must wear the scarf with it. The way you have it draped over your shoulder with those fab culottes is lovely!

  • olga replied 1 year ago

    Dear Natalie, i can fully relate to your post. I bought Jimmy Choo booties this winter and used them very frequently eventually (not at first) and they are gorgeous; but i think i will not do this kind of purchase again. Not sure its really justified as they did wore out and may be will hold next winter but not more that that. I kind of felt not "in my shoes" although nobody besides me knew they are what they are.
    I think the thing is that one should fit well into his own surroundings, labels included.

  • jill58 replied 1 year ago

    Agree with everyone else -- such an interesting and honest post. I too love handbags but have often wondered how much even the most fabulous purse can actually be worth. Like you, there is a price point above which I would simply become uncomfortable carrying the bag, no matter how much I loved it. I too have bought items that at one time or another I just had to have, only to lose money eventually selling them on ebay. I don't think that you should regret the purchase. a) You were able to gratify the desire to own the bag--you experienced it and decided it wasn't for you. b) You learned something about yourself and your values. 

  • Isabel replied 1 year ago

    Natalie, thank you for the well told story, variations of which are so familiar to so many. 
    It sounds as though you resolved this very, very well, and did some honest thinking about your priorities. I guess you could also look at it as though the money you lost is what it cost to learn everything you described. I'm not saying it was cheap, but someone people have had to pay for cars or houses to learn the same things.

  • Jane replied 1 year ago

    I have learnt so much from your post and reading each other's experiences. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Well done for finding your way through to the other side.

  • LACeleste replied 1 year ago

    Thanks for sharing  your story Natalie.  Excellent resolution.  I'm proud of you for taking action and not letting guilt or regret consume you.  Well done!

    You look lovely in all outfits!

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