Looking younger vs. older than your age: importance of styling

I hope you don't mind my reposting this here so I can save it on my blog, because I think it's a fascinating topic.

Rita asked an interesting question about how not to look so young.
http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....o-for-once

I can definitely relate because I get this comment all the time about how I look like I'm 12 and "Are you sure you're old enough to be a doctor?" It's great to look young, but not always a blessing when you want to be taken seriously or look experienced.

Here is my response to Rita and some pictures I posted to demonstrate how styling can make a difference in how young or old you look. What do you think? And do you tend to dress younger or older than your age?

I hear you Rita! I get that comment from patients ALL.THE.TIME and I am so sick of looking young! Ha, they even peg me at the same age (12). I do think your petite height, curly hair and cherubic cheeks do tend to make you look young and sweet and cute which is great, but I know what you mean about being tired of it sometimes. I don't think you need to dress frumpy or conservative necessarily, but I do try to be "dressier" and more sophisticated to counteract the young appearance. It's hard. On the other hand, I worry that one day I'll wake up suddenly looking my age or older, and wish for the days when I looked young!

I don't have a great comeback either. When people say "Are you sure you're old enough to be a doctor? You look so young!" I just say "Thanks for the compliment."

It is an interesting question though. How to dress older intentionally? I think I tend to go for muted colors, richer textures, a little bit of sparkle or sophisticated glam, and a touch of luxe. Wear things that look like only grownups like or can afford. When I don't mind looking young I'll let myself wear the bright colors, young shoes like the Converse, girly silhouettes and whimsical patterns or details. Here are some of my young vs. old looks in similar outfits, so you can see what a difference styling makes. I admit that I do look rather young in some of these, but I like all of these looks. Sometimes it's fun to mix things up!

1-2. Cardigan + T/tank + skinny jeans. The young look I'm wearing a cat tee and bright red cardi and Converse, which makes me look like a teenager. The second look I'm wearing sparkly tank and gold shimmery cardigan and leopard flats (I think leopard can be a bit aging sometimes!) so it reads older. Ha, #2 could be the mom of #1!
3-4. Navy floral dress. Jason Wu is shorter and silhouette is more girly and ditsier print vs. more sophisticated cut and bolder floral of the Ralph Lauren. And I have my cutesy orange slice bag in my young outfit too.
5-6. Tile pattern skirt. I'd say both skirts are "luxe" with rich colors and textures, but the moto jacket and sandals with tights gives the first one a younger look than the rich brown leather jacket and white button down blouse and pumps in the second.
7-8. Coat over dress. I freely admit the first look is girlish and cute with the heart print dress and red bow belt and candy red coat. The second purple coat is my "old lady coat" with the muted purple tweed and huge faux fur collar. The velvet bag is also more grown up than the cute red purse. And the eggplant dress is sophisticated and subtly textured.

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This post is also published in the youlookfab forum. You can read and reply to it in either place. All replies will appear in both places.

12 Comments

  • modgrl replied 12 years ago

    I'm wondering if there's a way to just post things to your blog to streamline and consolidate topics on the main forum.

  • goldenpig replied 12 years ago

    I don't know Rita, but I will ask Greg. Sorry, I didn't mean to annoy you by starting a new thread! :)

  • Kirti replied 12 years ago

    I never thought about this, but I can see the difference between the more youthful and sophisticated looks! I like both though :)

  • Velma replied 12 years ago

    These are great ideas, Goldenpig!

    I had to think about looking "too young for my station" in my 20s--first while teaching college courses when I was just a year or two older than some of my students, and then in my first acquisitions editing job (accepting or rejecting manuscripts by very senior authors). Then, time marched on, and suddenly I didn't have to worry about it anymore! :-)

    All of your outfits are beautiful, and you can clearly create gravitas when you need it! In another few years, if you want to add some of the ditsy prints and such back into your work rotation, you'll be free to do it. I'd love to have fashionable you as my doctor, even in your Converse!

  • replied 12 years ago

    I'm sorry this happens to you GP. I honestly need to know what people are smoking these days. I mean 12? Not even the 12 year olds look like 12 these days.

    I think I'm on team looking younger that your age, in my good days, and I love it!

    I think next time you are called too young to be a doctor, you should say, "yes, I was one of those gifted children that graduated from high school at 10, so I had time to become a doctor, as such an early age". Can you imagine the amusement? Your street cred will increase exponentially. LOL

    Great outfits, GP and I'm loving your blog!

  • christieanne replied 12 years ago

    I don't think you look 12 as I don't see many 12 yr olds dressing in sophisticated print dresses but look #1 is more youthful than the rest.

    Side conversation below maybe but here goes:

    Confession: I have been guilty of wondering my dr. age and also my husband's dr. age.

    Here is the difference between them - my husband's dr addressed the question (which my husband jokingly asked him ) in an upfront and friendly way. He then proceeded to ask great questions, give us thorough answers and charm us both with his bedside manner and confidence. I even switched to him as my GP after that.
    My ob/gyn is a few years out of med school (found that out on our HMO website) and when I asked her some questions about - ahem - approaching middle age - yikes - she really didn't have any useful advice or want to discuss my questions. Her bedside manner is pretty abrupt and I really don't feel like she takes my concerns seriously after that interaction. Am I thinking i will switch docs - oh yeah.

    Both wear white lab coats over their clothes for office visits - I couldn't tell you what's under there except trousers and sensible shoes for both. It was their approach and communication skills that gave me confidence in their ability. (I mean even if my doc didn't know, she could refer me, etc. without sounding patronizing.)

    When I think about it, unless someone is a pediatrician or ob, most dr's will have patients older than them (or even old enough to be grandparents?).
    I hope I didn't go off in some most unhelpful direction - you always look so thoughtful in your style and dressing. Also, the fact that you are conscious of the potential age gap makes me think you will not allow it to be an issue as you can address it head on.

    Didn't mean that to be so long - let me know if something didn't make sense but i think you look phenomenal in your outfits pictured and majorly credible. And not 12 :)

  • taylor replied 12 years ago

    I say ENJOY it while you can!! Nature and age have a way of catching up:)

    But honestly to say that you or Rita look like 12 yr. old's is really rude to them! You are both obviously beautiful grown women, who have been blessed with good genes and eternal youth:)!

  • modgrl replied 12 years ago

    Did you ever analyze the days that you felt most powerful? What were you wearing or what was different about those days? Unfortunately ruffles, sweetness and retro kitchy prints are going to surrender power - something that sounds like it is an issue for you. Would you consider a bit of make up? Not that you need it but it may help too.

  • Fruitful replied 12 years ago

    People don't literally mean "12". It's hyperbolic speak that's meant to be jocular. I've heard it in common parlance before, even heard people saying it about themselves (I think Jennifer Love Hewitt said she looks about 12 when she has no makeup on; I've heard many people say it in many contexts). It's just a colourful way of saying "youthful".

  • Fruitful replied 12 years ago

    Zap, I love your suggestion - Goldenpig, the next Doogie Howser! :)

  • goldenpig replied 12 years ago

    LOL Zap & Fruitful, I used to get the Doogie Howser comment a lot too...actually it was somewhat true--I skipped kindergarten and started college at 16, then graduated college in 3 years so I was only 19 when I started med school. I was the youngest in my class. Although I had 15 years of medical training (!) so that more than made up for it.

    Christianne, sounds like the trouble you had with your doctor was more of a communication style/bedside manner issue rather than age? To me, that is much more important than someone's age. Sometimes my personal characteristics work in my favor (like a lot of women want a woman doctor), sometimes not if patients have a bias that older doctors know better. I don't necessarily think that's true, sometimes the farther out you are from your training, the less current you are on the latest medical advances because things are always changing.

    Rita, that's a very interesting question. I will have to mull that over. I think I feel most confident when I look polished and luxe. But I think even my "powerful" outfits are still very feminine and retro. Like my "power suit" is polka dots with a ruffled collar, LOL. I don't know that I'm seeking to look powerful, as much as I am to look well-dressed and confident--I want patients to trust that I'm old enough know what I'm doing. I'm not really worried about surrendering power, I just want to look old enough that I don't look like a kid still in training. I get what you're saying about the whimsical prints and sweet looks though. I do try to balance it out with more "serious" outfits. Velma, I like how you described it with the word "gravitas". I would try makeup more often, it's just that I hardly ever have time. I'm usually rushing out the door and barely have time to decide on my outfit, so hair, makeup and accessories usually aren't a priority for me. But I may give it a try on days where I have more time.

    Thanks all for the comments! I am really enjoying this discussion!

  • Fruitful replied 12 years ago

    GP, I knew you were smart! I didn't do what you did, but in a way I relate - my Dad is Indian and the academic ambitions were in place for me young (Mum taught me to read when I was 3; I was in an accelerated learning program in highschool and would have finished at 16 except that our certificate structure changed, so I finished at 17. ETA that's wrong - I remembered I did finish at 16, I was supposed to finish at 15). I did rebel against my parents though and happily dropped out of uni. I went back when my eldest was a toddler. Unfortunately looking after my crazy beloved youngest made it too much (plus Mum moved to the country and my social support all fell away). So I'm still to finish my degree! Sorry for the tangent :)

    In Jayne's thread I commented on the term "gravitas" as well - I think it's a great touchstone (but IMO ideally goes hand in hand with individuality and playfulness!).

    I love your creative dressing and that you wear feminine and whimsical elements, and it doesn't seem like they work against you.

    And I totally get the no-makeup and wash-n-go hair thing. The reason I started wearing makeup is because of my skin; if I had beautiful skin like yours I would never have bothered! And if I don't put some thought into my hair it's like a Choose Your Own Adventure book. Your hair looks great and work appropriate too.

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