WIW 6/6: Kate Spade ice cream with polka dot sprinkles

I haven't been posting here in a while, but I had to come back to post a tribute to one of my first and favorite fashion designers/icons. I was so sad to learn of Kate Spade's death. When I joined YLF in 2011, I was wearing either fleece, mom jeans and Mocs, or maternity clothes even though I had given birth 1.5 years prior, just because I didn't have anything that was up to date. One of the first designer purchases I made was this Kate Spade polka dot dress, and it transformed how I looked at myself. I developed more confidence, revamped my wardrobe and even developed a new style persona (Demure Bombshell), heavily influenced by Kate Spade. I loved the polished ladylike style with a sense of fun and whimsy. I have a big collection of her novelty purses! Even though my style has gone in a new direction (adding UWP and RATE elements), I still come back to colorful, fun and ladylike as my main style. I am so sad for her family, especially her 13 year old daughter. Even though she seems like she was so successful and had it all and had such a sunny persona, you never know what someone is going through. Personally, I have had at least 5 or 6 people close to me suffer from depression/mental illness, and one family member who had a suicide attempt and a friend who did kill herself. Mental illness is so common and it doesn't discriminate. If you are suffering, please reach out for help. It is treatable, even if it is a long and hard road. If you aren't dealing with those issues, someone you know is, even if you aren't aware of it. Please reach out to those who might need help. Ask how they are doing and listen. 
All my love,
Goldenpig (Natalie)


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Beetlemania and clown pants

I haven’t bought new clothes in a long time, but still enjoy wearing and remixing my old clothes. Some oldies but goodies: my Tory Burch beetle shirt and dragonfly necklace, and my H&M floral pants that my husband called clown pants because of how loud they are (in his opinion!). The turquoise sweater is old and pilled, but was a great color match and kept me warm on a rainy day. Also orange always makes me smile!


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ZFG: New style moniker

Some friends and I were discussing how our fashion interests have changed over the years. I haven't been posting here much lately anymore because I didn't feel like I had any new outfits to post. In the past year since the election and with all the horrible news and multiple shootings, I have felt a simmering anger/frustration/sadness--not clinically depressed, but feeling like there were bigger things to worry about than what I was wearing. So I'm sorry that I've largely disappeared the last few months to year, but hope you can understand. (And if I've been gone so long that you don't know me, hi there!)

Plus I was so busy with work and the three kids. Also I hadn't bought new clothes in ages, partly because I was upset about having gained 20 lb since my last baby (can you believe he's 5 now?!) and how people kept asking me if I was pregnant and partly because I didn't have the time, energy or money and I didn't feel like buying "fat clothes". I kind of gave up on fashion and stopped taking selfies (even my husband noticed and asked why I wasn't taking a million pictures of myself anymore!). It was kind of freeing not to be obsessed with clothes so much. I purged the clothes that no longer fit. I found myself reaching for comfier clothes--stretchy/waist surrendering, flats and moto boots, and my favorite combos and wearing them two days in a row especially if I was working at different locations. 

Instead of fashion, I became interested in fitness. I ended up buying a Peloton bike in November, and it's been life changing. I can finally exercise at home whenever I want! I hadn't exercised in months because it was always too hard to schedule classes at OrangeTheory or Dailey Method barre classes because of work and all the kid activities. I have ridden nearly every day since then! It's great because you can take classes from home and ride with your friends and if you take live classes the instructor can call you out and say hi to you during class! I also made a plan to run a 10K next month and maybe even a triathlon next fall (they have a kids' section with distances based on age and I think all 3 of the kids are going to participate in that too!). I changed my diet and the way I eat (doing low carb and intermittent fasting) and even though I have not been very strict about following that plan, still have managed to lose 10 lb since January 1. Still have a squishy mummy tummy, but I've lost a couple inches and feel more fit. Instead of shopping for clothes and posting outfits, I've been buying new workout gear, taking "swelfies", hanging out on FB doc mom exercise groups, and saving up for a Peloton treadmill that is coming out later this year. 

Anyways, all that is to say that I think I need a new style moniker. No longer just Demure Bombshell or Fun and Flirty. Not just UWP. I can mix up colorful and pretty and girly with dark and tough. I'm a little more confident about wearing whatever the flip I want, whatever makes me relaxed and happy, fashion rules and trends be damned. We were talking about how our new moniker should be ZFG. I took some pics to show examples of how this has applied to me this week:

1. Repeats. Just noticed I posted this same exact outfit the last time I posted on YLF. Oh well, ZFG. (Theory sweater, Vince skirt, MZ Wallace leather tote, Topshop sandals)
2. Wearing comfy sweatshirt and Vans to the office. ZFG. (Vince sweatshirt, Halogen faux leather pencil skirt, Vans--this was inspired by Angie's sweatshirt and pencil skirt post)
3. Wearing workout clothes as an actual outfit (yes I did work out, but I wore it the rest of the day too). ZFG. (Zella jacket, Athleta leggings)
4. Leather moto, concert tee, jeans and Cons. Cliché MOTG formula but ZFG. (BR leather moto, B-52's shirt, Paige jeans, red Cons). 
5. J Crew bubble necklace. May be overdone by all the bloggers and so passé, but ZFG. Plus I'm doing my usual hypermatchy and carrying a diaper bag, but ZFG. (Athleta sweater, J Crew necklace, Halogen skirt, Kate Spade bag, Paul Green Cayanne sandals).

And I should say that ZFG doesn't mean I am dressing like a slob or that I don't appreciate sound fashion advice (thanks Angie and all of you at YLF for all the help you have given me over the years to get me out of my post-baby years!), but that I finally feel like I have a sense of who I am and that I can break the rules when I want to and still have fun with fashion in my own way!

Bonus pics:

6. Peloton swelfie.

7. 5K run on the bike path--just starting my running training.

8. What has consumed the last couple of months--being Girl Scout cookie mom for DD's troop. This was only half of the boxes for her troop and we sold them all!

9. DH is in charge of the Cub Scout pack--here with DS1 at the annual Pinewood Derby.

10. First family ski day. DS2 graduated from the magic carpet to chairlifts and green runs, DS1 is doing blue runs and DD is doing blacks! I think they all are better than DH and I now!

11. DS2 even tried ice skating! He is fearless!


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WIW and K/P: More food baby woes

Should I get rid of this sweater--does it make me look pregnant?

I'm sorry to sound like a broken record, but I keep getting stupid comments about me being pregnant. This time one of my coworkers thought it would be hilarious to tell another coworker I was pregnant so coworker B came up and congratulated me and said he heard I was expecting. Then Coworker A came and told Coworker C (in front of me), "Did you hear what evil person B did? He was saying that Dr. N was preg...." I angrily told him to stop and that it wasn't funny. But the stupid thing is that then I cried because I was so upset and angry at him. I'm so embarrassed that I cried at work. It stings because one of the doctors is actually pregnant--not me! I am so sick and tired of these comments. It's not just him, my patients ask me this at least once or twice a month. One of my other coworkers asked me this (not in a joking way, he was serious). Even my own 4 year old patted my tummy recently and said "Is there anyone in there?" (ETA: I'm not mad at anyone except for coworker A, because he did it on purpose to make fun of me--he is known for playing practical jokes on all the staff, but they are sometimes a bit inappropriate or offensive).

I'm not overweight or obese, I have a normal BMI. Yes I have a tummy, I had three babies so I don't have a perfect bikini body. I don't have much time to exercise because I'm so busy with kids and work. When I'm on call, I'm often working until midnight and last week I was up till 3 am one night because of emergency procedures.

I am trying to eat better and exercise when I can, but short of getting plastic surgery (which I don't want to do because of potential risks of complications, since I have kids, who ironically are the source of my issue), how can I get these comments to stop? It's really wearing me down and making me feel bad about myself. It doesn't seem to matter whether I wear loose baggy clothes or fitted clothes (it's way worse when my clothes are fitted). I don't want to starve myself or spend all my free time at the gym (I try to do exercise videos at home after the kids are in bed, but lately I've been having to catch up on my charting at night). When I'm done with work, I'd rather spend two or three hours with my kids before they go to bed instead of staying late to go to the gym. Sorry to unload, but I am so demoralized and need a shoulder to cry on!


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White tulle, black pleats (and matchy matchy cat purse)

Hi YLF, it's been ages since I posted, mostly because I've been so super busy with work and the kids, but also because I haven't been in a real fashion mood for a long time now because of my spare tire. I'm about 20 lb up in the past 4.5 years since baby #3, and carrying it all in my midsection. I still get asked if I'm pregnant a lot by my patients. Even last week my 4 year old son patted my tummy and said "Mama, is there anyone in there?" Ugggh. It's extra annoying because one of the other docs I work with IS actually pregnant right now, yet I'm the one getting all the pregnant questions. I had to really thin out my closet with a lot of things I still like, but don't fit any more. I lost maybe half my closet. But I don't feel like shopping for "fat" clothes so I have just been making do with what I have. Even today I tried two dresses on and realize I can't wear them any more because of the belly pooch. I tried a bunch of stuff on for NAS, but the only thing I kept was this black pleated skirt. Nothing else looked good on me. 

I know I need to get stricter with my diet (ever since November I've been in a constant state of frustration at all the disasters and the evil things happening in the world, and probably sheetcaking in response). I also need to get in better shape, but never seem to have the time to exercise. I've been on call for the past week and basically working from 7 am to midnight every day. I come home and barely see my kids for an hour before they go to bed and then finish dictations and charting. Cannot wait for Friday when I'm off call and have a day off...to go to the dentist and volunteer at school! I think it's been extra busy this week because some of the nearby hospitals closed due to the wildfires, so more patients are getting transferred here. We are safe but our thoughts are with those who are affected. It was super smoky around here for the past week--the air quality was supposedly as bad as Beijing. Kids had to stay indoors for recess (they even cancelled school Friday). Outdoor activities like swimming and soccer were cancelled all of last week and got cancelled again today. My daughter is trying to convince the school to let her hold a bake sale for the fire victims (she organized one two years ago for the Valley fire victims).

We were really stressed out because a couple weeks ago, our black cat Cranberry (who is normally a 100% indoor cat) disappeared when a worker that came to the house left the door open and she ran out. We could not find her all day and night even searching up and down the whole neighborhood (DH says he saw someone call the cops on him because he was wandering around with a flashlight looking under people's houses!). We even posted a lost cat flyer on Nextdoor. I thought she was gone for good, especially when I saw a coyote in our backyard! DH camped out in a tent in the backyard all night to watch for her and she finally came back at 5 in the morning! Happy ending--we and the kids are so relieved and her brother Melon is so glad to have her back too.

Anyways, I thought I'd show a glimmer of my old fashion sense so that you don't think I've completely dropped off the face of the earth! In my usual M.O. of light/dark ladylike vs. shadow persona dressing, I wore the same outfit in Kate Spade vs. UWP versions. One with pastel pink cashmere sweater with white tulle skirt for a mom's night out to see Hamlet, and then a grey/black pleated skirt version. And threw in a matchy matchy cat and cat purse (#6) just for fun. I love it when my accessories match. I'm so glad to have her back. And yes I confess, I'm totally sucking it in for the pics. ;)

Everlane pink cashmere sweater
Bailey 44 white tulle skirt
Halogen blush studded flats
Charming Charlie rose gold flower necklace
Stella and Dot rose gold thorn bracelet
Kate Spade cat purse

Theory grey sweater
Vince black pleated midi skirt
Topshop sandals
Michael Kors studded satchel
Hospital $5 jewelry sale necklace
Spring St. bracelet


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Clear knee mom jeans

Does this count as an essential? ;)
At least you don't have to worry about wet knees if you have to garden in the rain.
Maybe I should try something like this for the boys' pants. They all have holes in the knees, maybe I should patch them with Ziploc bags!



WWW 3/8 for International Women's Day

My daughter and I celebrated International Women's Day by wearing red and pink and reading about "Rad Women Worldwide." My daughter's favorite hero is Malala, because "she was the youngest person to win the Nobel Peace Prize and because she is brave and wants all girls to be able to go to school." Bonus pic of her at age 4 (she has been picking her own outfits since she was a toddler)...this pic totally captures her. She is fierce, independent, and unstoppable! #girlpower


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Pity party, pewter puffer, political protest, and pile of poo

The first three pics are pre-Nov 8...more fun colors and patterns. And you saw my colorful election outfit here: http://goldenpig.lookfab.com/p.....ction-week. Since then I still feel like I'm in a major funk. Like I'm in a bad dream. Each day reading the news makes me more depressed and scared for the future of our country. Been picking mostly black and drab colors and comfy casual cardigans and combat boots and wearing outfits multiple days in a row so I don't have to think about what to wear. Despite trying to watch my diet and exercising at Orangetheory and Dailey Method (though not as often as I should because of my busy work and kid schedule) I've gained 20 lb over the last 3-4 years. I'm now at my heaviest weight ever. If it was evenly distributed it wouldn't be so bad, but it's all in one place...my food baby. Ugh. I sort of feel like I've "let myself go" in terms of both my body and my attention to dressing. A lot of my clothes don't fit anymore and it's a constant struggle to conceal my apple belly. I really need to do a major edit to my closet, but I can't bring myself to do the purge of shame and take several hours to try on everything and pull out all the things that are too tight now. It feels overwhelming from both a time and emotional standpoint. And I don't have the time or inclination to shop for new clothes right now. So tired too. Been working really hard but always behind on charting. And the house is a cluttered mess. I just want to be caught up with everything for once! Sorry I haven't been posting as much lately and for the pity party. But onward and upward...I hope 2017 will be a better year for all of us!

1. Kate Spade typewriter bag and matching Vince Camuto polka dot tube skirt
2. Olive tee and gold boots with floral Fossil satchel
3. "Clown pants" floral H&M pants
4. Halogen cardigan and Paige jeans...the one pair of jeans that still fits right now. :(
5. Vince Caumto tube skirt (thank God I bought a bunch of stretchy skirts back then!).
6-9. My first political protest! The energy was amazing and it was uplifting to see so many unite against hate!
10-13. Betabrand poo emoji dress. Emblematic of my world lately...just a giant pile of poo! LOL. Perfect theme dress for work too. I even paired the poo dress with a fly bracelet. But no one at work noticed the dress all day until I finally pointed out the pattern. Then they thought it was hilarious!
14-15. The blouse is gaping at the bust (maybe because of my weight gain) and the pants are too long, but at least they match the Burberry purse.
16-18. Today I pulled out my old Eileen Fisher track joggers and it was a revelation! Hallelujah! Finally something that isn't constantly digging into my waist! And it's been an Arctic chill in the Bay Area, down to the 40's! Time to bust out the pewter puffer and the rest of my puffer collection!

Bonus family/kiddo pics:
19-20. DH and I were both on call on Thanksgiving, but he managed to cook a whole Thanksgiving meal while still working on call from home! Then I had to go in to the hospital at 11 pm to pull a piece of turkey that was stuck in someone's esophagus. Happens every year post-Thanksgiving! At least DS2 was enjoying his turkey drumstick...
21. DS1 lost his two front teeth! Just in time for Christmas! Now he can sing that song...
22. DD and her letter to Santa, asking for "my OWN bedroom" (triple underlined), among other demands...hope she isn't too disappointed that Santa can't bring her everything on her list! ;)


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WIW Election week

We always like to take the kids with us when we vote, so they can see the importance of civic duty in action (and they love to get their "I voted" stickers). So we don't do absentee ballots and go to the polls as a family on Election Day. (See prior post on primary day, when DS2 was upset that we told him we were "going boating" but he didn't get to ride in a boat: http://goldenpig.lookfab.com/p.....ng-boating). I was too fat to fit in my pantsuit anymore :P so instead I wore my most patriotic outfit with red, white and blue, complete with glasses necklace and red spiked Wonder Woman cuff (because women can be smart and tough at the same time). DD liked her President Barbie (she said she wants to switch the glasses to the Asian one so it will look like her). The kids were so excited to vote with us. Not going to lie, we were all completely shocked at the results (especially given where we live). The next day I wore all black in mourning. Then today I decided to wear all white in honor of the suffragists who fought to get women the right to vote, and to symbolize hope for the future. Circle bracelet to symbolize that we are all interconnected, and necklace with the initials of my children to remind myself who I am fighting for to make this world a better place! (First thing I did was make a donation to my local women's domestic violence shelter). We can all do this together!

PS I'd also like to introduce our new kittens Melon and Cranberry (Cranberry is the black and white one). They are brother and sister. I wanted to adopt the third sibling Peach so that each of the kids could have a cat, but DH put his foot down and said two was plenty. :( They are quite the basket of adorables, though! :)


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WWW Halloween 2016: May the Force Be With You

It's been a rough week with work and everything else going on in the world, so I didn't have time to post these earlier. Didn't want to disappoint you though and Meredith was asking, so here are the pics.

As you know, DH is really into DIY Halloween costumes and spends a ton of time planning and making his costume. And I like matchy matchy theme dressing, so I always go with whatever costume he's making and plan a family costume (though I am not crafty so I just buy the costumes for me & the kids). Some of our previous costumes are below (21-25) and recap of last year's samurai theme here: http://goldenpig.lookfab.com/p.....e-princess.

This year DH wanted to be a TIE fighter pilot and he has spent hours on a website called 501st Legion (http://www.501st.com) that details everything you need for your uniform to be up to spec to join Vader's army. Apparently there are cosplay folks (I mean soldiers) out there even more nerdy and hardcore than DH! He ordered the helmet and body armor months and months in advance (like March), but apparently it takes forever for them to be hand made and ship, sometimes over a year. He was promised that these things would arrive before Halloween, but when it looked like he wasn't going to get them in time, he scrambled started making his own. He was working on a cheap helmet from eBay and sanding and reshaping and painting it (16-17).Then the body armor never showed up so he created his own out of motorcycle gear, and was working on the chest piece box made of cardboard and tubing the night before Halloween (18). He even made a staff for Rey out of PVC pipe and bathroom fixtures (19-20) and painted my Leia gun (1). After all that, the official armor arrived Nov 1. :P I like the homemade version though!

So DH was a TIE fighter pilot, I was Princess Leia (the R2D2 purse came in handy!), 9 yo DD was Rey, 6 yo DS1 was Kylo Ren, and 3 yo DS2 was "Dark Bader". The girls were good and the boys were evil. Also the boys liked that they were the boss of DH. DH and I went to the kids' school parades in costume. It was raining that night, which cut the trick or treating a little short, but it was still fun. 

Any suggestions for next year's theme? The kids are voting for Pokemon, but not sure DH is interested in making himself a Jigglypuff costume... ;)

21. 2010 Space shuttle, astronauts and alien
22. 2012 Scuba diver (with bubble blower inside a papier mache tank), mermaids and Nemo
23. 2013 Astronauts, Buzz Lightyear and alien
24. 2014 The Incredibles (all store bought that year)
25. 2015 Samurai, Japanese princess and ninjas


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